The Total Makeover

Out of “Esteem”

Have you ever felt that you could be better, look better, or even feel better about yourself? Have you had moments where you have felt inadequate or just less t han qualified? Have you lacked motivation or
confidence?

I am sure that the answers to some of the questions above are yes. Everyone has had these moments once, twice and more times than they care to share. I have found that this issue is more prevalent than we know. This is an issue of Esteem – Self-Esteem.

After I had my children I remember the feelings of low self-esteem. My self-esteem issues traveled through everything I did. It manifested through the way I dressed, talked and took care of myself. It was obvious to everyone that I was out of 'esteem,' but me. The truth is I just did not feel attractive and desirable anymore. Instead of trying to look sexy and attractive to my husband, I chose to put on clothing that was not becoming because they were comfortable. I no longer went to my hair appointments and took that time to get a mani or pedi.

When you're out of 'Esteem' you are out of alignment. Self-esteem affects every area of our lives from relationships to job performance. Self-esteem is vital and is the foundation of a positive attitude towards life and living. You can't build self esteem over night - it is an area that is built and nourished with time.

Take the time to build your self esteem and watch the changes that will begin to happen in your life.    

 

The Woman in You

Growing up my mother always told me to be an individual and stop trying to be like everyone else. As little girls we try to fit in so we would be noticed by others. We try to get in with the "In Crowd" to become popular. This meant that we needed to be more like that crowd – do what they did, dress like they dressed and talk like they talked. In doing these things we decreased the ability to develop who we were from the inside out.

It is so important to take the time to develop a healthy self-esteem, self-image and build confidence in you as an individual. Finding that woman on the inside is vital to inner happiness and peace. Finding the woman in you is about embracing the person that you were made to be. It is accepting your unique qualities and welcoming the difference that makes you distinctive.

Where is the woman in you? Is she crying to get out? Is she hidden behind a lifetime of disappointments and failures? Is she lost in the - should've could've would've? It's time to find that woman again and give her life. Stop waiting for things to just happen. You have to get up and make things happen. You have to start with taking your life back – building your self-esteem, transforming your self-image and boosting your self-confidence.

Here are some things you might consider:

1. Stop the pity parties – there's no time to waddle in the pool of disappointments and failures. There is nothing you can do about the past. Move on and start a new chapter in your life.
2. Look good, feel good – Start changing how you view yourself by working on your appearance. Invest in some pampering. This is always a good tool in transforming your self- image.
3. Find your passion – look inside yourself and find what makes you excited. Take that passion and increase your knowledge. When you're passionate about something you are eager to learn.

These are just a few tidbits to start with as you work to find the Woman in You!

As a Woman Thinketh

Being a woman is hard enough when dealing with how you're viewed by others. It is another thing to lower yourself to the self-destroying opinions that go on in your head. People who know me know that I love to draw my common sense thinking from the Bible. Its principles can be applied to the life of anyone – Christian or non-Christian. In the Bible it states:

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he;" Proverbs 23:7a

This already tells us that our words and thoughts have power. How you think is how you live and act. If you think of yourself as unattractive – so it is. If you think of yourself as undesirable – so it is. If you think of yourself as inadequate – so it is.

I was a victim of this very thing for several years before and after I got married and had children. My self-esteem and self-image was in a very bad place. My thought life was destroying my physical life. I was depressed and stressed. I had lost sight of the woman in me. My hurt from prior relationships and weight gain from each pregnancy left me feeling less than a woman. This affected my husband, children, family and friends. I no longer dressed nice, did my hair or got my nails done. I was in a bad place!

If you're engaging in self-destroying thoughts that are now manifesting in how you live and act – It's Time to Stop! Put an end to those self-destroying thoughts and Find the Woman in You.

Free To Be You?

Have you ever felt placed in a box?

No freedom to be who you are or what you want to be?

Have you felt that you had to measure up to others expectations of you?

Are you afraid to venture out and do some things you always wanted to do because others are expecting more of you?

Do you feel suffocated or trapped between what you want and what other's expected?

I know these are loaded questions, but I want you to really take some time and think about each of them. In my practice I have notice self-esteem and self-worth issues that are related to each of these areas. For the month of August we will be discussing these issues and I invite anyone and everyone to add your commits. My endeavor is to help you through these issues with as little pain as possible. If you have a concern now would be a time to ask so we can address them. This is your time to have access to me for free. Ask your questions on my blog, facebook page, twitter and even by email. With all of this I am gathering information for a new self-esteem program. I want to help you build your self-esteem.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Kenya Johnson, M.P.G.C.

www.thetotalmakeover.com

The Beauty Within

It seems that these days almost everyone is focused on physical beauty. Someone's intelligence, personality, or status is all perceived by their outward appearance. So where does inner beauty fit in?

 This is a subject that I have thought long and hard about.  What is beauty?    According to the dictionary beauty is defined as: The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.  As I sat and thought about this definition - the quality that gives pleasure, I began to break it down.  Let’s define what quality is: A personal trait, especially a character trait.  When add the definition of quality to the definition of beauty it would read something like this: Beauty – the personal trait or character trait that gives pleasure to the mind or senses.

When you look at the new definition we have given to beauty you can see exactly where beauty comes from – it comes from within.  Have you ever met a person that was so appealing to the eye and when you really get to know them their personality is so horrible that they begin to look ugly on the outside?  You may not believe this but, the true beauty of a person depends a lot on their character.  Have you ever met a person that was not so good looking but, they have the most amazing personality?  This person may not have started off looking good to you, but after you get to know them they begin to look a whole lot better.

We all have beauty within, however, whether or not we're aware of it or utilize it is up to us. Inner beauty is something that's profoundly more important than physical beauty. It's something that you must nurture and cherish.

 When you develop your inner beauty, your physical beauty seems to miraculously improve as well!

 Here are some strategies that can help you discover and develop your beauty within:

 1. Make an "I Love Me" list. This is a powerful tool to help you discover the beauty within yourself. Write down all of your good qualities that don't relate to something physical. Are you sweet? Sincere? Love animals and children? All these attributes and a host of others relate to your inner beauty.

 

• The process of writing out your strengths gives you tangible evidence of your great inner qualities that you might not have even been aware of.

 2. Surround yourself with those whose inner qualities you admire. Of course, they may also have physical beauty, but the reason you're drawn to them is because they're caring, loving, gentle, or otherwise admirable because of their inner qualities.

 

• When you surround yourself with these kinds of people, your own beauty within tends to shine through also. They may even point out your inner beauty to you. People like this look beyond the outer shell and focus on what's important inside.

 3. Practice and cultivate your beauty within. Most of us know how to take care of our physical beauty: we get our nails and hair done, we stay in shape, buy new clothes, and so on.

 

• Remember, when you discover and improve the beauty you have inside, physical beauty follows. Surely you've met someone and weren't attracted to their physical beauty at first glance, but once you got to know them and saw their inner beauty, they began to be more physically attractive as well.
  
  
• What can you do to bring out your beauty within? It's simple: Be you! Show beautiful qualities like compassion, love, and patience, and practice them daily.

 4. Avoid negative talk. Gossip and negative comments about others only breeds more negativity within you. Instead, focus on the good in people. Rather than saying an off-color comment about someone's appearance, put a positive spin and focus on a point of his or her inner beauty.

 

• This will help you cultivate and develop your own beauty within, also. Focusing on the positive qualities of others brings out the best in you, too! You'll also find that you'll attract people because they enjoy being around you. Attracting loving and caring friends is just icing on the cake!

 

Final Thoughts on Your Beauty Within

 The beauty you have within is unique to you. Unfortunately though, many of us don't know how to celebrate and honor it. Unleash your inner beauty to the world! Don't be afraid of it.

 Use these tips to show everyone the beauty you have on the inside and you'll gain an amazing and unshakeable self-confidence!

 

 

~My Thoughts – October 30, 2009~

Self-esteem isn't a lesson you teach; it's a quality you nurture.

What does it say about a person that constantly illuminates the negative in a person and diminishes the positive?

So often we fail to see the greatness in others. It is as if we are too close to see the unique qualities that they posses. We step on their dreams and quash their goals all because we are standing too close. Take a few steps back and ask God to help you see the greatness He's placed in those around you, especially in our children, husbands, wives, brothers and sisters.

Whose greatness can you recognize today?

~ Five Ways to fall in Love with You~

Isn't it funny when you always tell others that you are a person full of love, when, on the contrary, you can't even answer point blank if you really love yourself? When people are in love, they always announce to the world how they love their partners more than their selves. But this is not the real concept of being in love; because how can you love others when you don't love yourself first? Below are some tips on how to create a lifetime romance with yourself.

 

1.  Believe That You're a Lovable Person. Upon waking up in the morning, face the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are, despite of your rugged look and messy hair. Doing this before you jumpstart your day will give you a positive atmosphere to last the whole day through.

 

2. Don't Be Harsh on Yourself. Stop criticizing yourself. So what if you don't have the body people will envy? So what if you don't have that many smart quips that make people laugh? And so what if your friend has a better job than you? Accept yourself as you are and recognize that you are special no matter how others think about you. Treat yourself as you would someone you love. Remember, you are a "Somebody" and not a "Nobody."

 

3. Take Care of Your Health. The body is the temple of your soul, so take care of it. Doing things that are hazardous to your health just means you are not concerned about your body. Eating food that are high in cholesterol, when you know you have a heart problem, is not a good practice. Staying until the wee hours of the morning until you tire your body out is a bad habit. This also goes to drinking too much alcohol, smoking, or worse, taking drugs.

 

If you really care about your body and you want it to look its best, exercise or attend a gym class. However, if working out also stresses your muscles too much, stop. Also starving yourself to death just to attain the figure you want is a big no-no. If you really care about yourself, you must first learn to take care of your body.

 

4. Date Yourself. Spend some time alone. Toss that planner away and set an appointment with yourself for the whole day. Take the time to go to the park alone, watch a movie by yourself, or go to your favorite restaurant and order your best-loved dessert. Dating yourself is a surefire way to bond with your inner-psyche and will help give you a sense of independence.

 

5. Forgive Yourself. Learn to forgive yourself for all your past mistakes. Everyone, even once in their life, commits errors. You can accept that nobody is perfect. But the best way to deal with it is to learn from it and then tell yourself that it's okay.

 

~Everything is a Process~

Yes, everything is a process. You can't wake up overnight and think that your life is going to automatically change. These things take time! You have to realize this and give the process a chance to take effect. Revisit the previous steps discuss and work at each of them. After time you will find that these things come easy and you would have changed from bad habits to good habits. As you build your self esteem you will begin to see the changes taking place in every area of your life. You will begin to build healthy and loving relationships. You will begin to flourish in your career because you will have the confidence necessary to accept challenges. You will no longer belittle or devalue yourself as a person.

These things will not fall into place in a blink of an eye. You have to work at them. If you have a bad day, don't go back to the pity parties. Remember tomorrow is a new day and you can start over. Take things one day at a time. Look at everyday as a new beginning – a fresh start. Don't give up! If you find yourself having trouble and you would like support during this process please contact me for a free session and let's get started.

~Love Yourself~

After going through the many issues of my past it was hard for me to love myself.  I felt that I did not deserve any good that could come out of my life.  I know this may seem extreme for some, but this is how I felt.  I found it hard to care for the person that allowed these things to transpire.  Little did I know that my lack of ability to love me was because I had not properly forgiven myself for the things that happened.  I knew that I would have to start the forgiving process before I could move on.  I had to allow myself to remember what had taken place and began to allow God to heal the hurt I had encountered.  As I began this process I started on the road to treating myself better.  I started doing things that made me feel good and look good.  As I began to concentrate on me I began to feel better.

Loving on me became easier as time went on.  I found that the little things I did – bubble baths, spa days, getting my hair done and my nails made me feel great!  I began to put value on me and invest in my well being and happiness.  As I continued this process it also made me feel that I deserved to be happy in life.  This even carried over in my relationships.  I no longer settled for relationships out of my hurts and issues of my past because I began to love me.  Take the steps necessary to love you and become the best that you can be.  This process may not be easy for some and as a life coach I am here to help.  Let’s explore this process together sign up for a free session today!

~Change Your Speech~

When you look into the mirror what do you see? Is the first thing that pops into your head something negative? Is the first thing you say something negative about the way you look? Stop! It is time to focus on the positive things, the good attributes. Focus on what you like and build from there.

This is a very important part to transforming your self-esteem. We are often the victim of our own words. The bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue. This is so true. Whatever you speak out of your mouth on a daily basis is sure to come to past. If you are constantly saying negative things about yourself or repeating the negative things that others have said they will slowly start taking form in your life. You will begin to see the manifestation of the words said come to past in your life.

Begin to see the good things about yourself and start to speak those things:

• I am beautiful
• I am fearfully and wonderfully made
• God made me in His image so, therefore, I am a wonderful person
• God loves me
• I am smart
• I can do all things through Christ
• I will have the mate that God has for me
• I will be all that God wants me to be
• I am the head and not the tail

These are just a few of my favorites. You can come up with your own personal confessions or affirmations. Remember to always focus on the positive because your words have power!

If you find that you are having difficulty please contact me for a sample session today!