I wanted to take the time to write about this subject because I think sometimes we don't realize we are acting out of desperation. There is a difference between a desire and desperation. A desire is simply a wish, a longing or craving; a want.
Desperate is being reckless or dangerous. This causes you to make rash or frantic decision that could be damaging. We have to understand that men need us not the other way around. God said it was not good for man to be alone.
We were made to be a helpmeet or the helpmate therefore giving us the ability to sometimes multi-task, nurture and birth an idea into existence. This is built into us and we have a strong desire to do and be all these things. That desire in us builds to a place in our lives that, if not fulfilled in other ways, leads to desperation.
As a single, had I known how to fulfill these desires in other ways I would not have made bad relationship decisions. There are many things/reasons that lead up to poor relationship choices.
To move past desperation you must:
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First Love Yourself. Loving yourself means you only want the best for yourself. This means being selective in who you choose to be in a relationship with. It is loving who God made you to be and being content in the place He has you.
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Make life choices instead of right now choices. When you make a life choice you're making a choice that will enhance your life not take years away. You make choices that will increase your quality of life. Don't give in to what feels good for the moment…look at the long term effects on your life.
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Never compare yourself to others. When you compare yourself to others you will always fall short. Don't look at their relationship, don't covet. Not only is it a sin you want to learn to be the best you – you can be.
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Find more fulfilling ways to fill your time. When you sit idle you allow your mind to wander into what if's and if I had. Learn to follow your dream, set goals and do things you love. Don't get consumed with relationships. Give God a chance to do His thing and bring you the relationship that you are worth.
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Learn to trust God. This is the most important one of all. If you trust God to send you a mate you have won half the battle. The other half is knowing how to spot a counterfeit and identifying potential warning signs. Being submitted to your spiritual leadership can help you weed out potential relationship hazards.
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"Activating and Building the Godly Woman in You"
