The Total Makeover

Identity Lost

When was the first time you realized that people didn't notice you anymore? When the people that you are around frequently only reply to you as your children's mom or your husband's wife? I will never forget when this first started happening to me. Frankly, this truly bothered me.

I was never the one that was extremely popular growing up and I was always known as my brother's sister to all those that never took the time to get to know who I was. Now, my identity was again in question. It was at this moment that I realized that I had lost sight of me – the woman. I had begun to hide behind my responsibilities and used them as an excuse to not take time for myself. I had not realized that my self-esteem had taken a nose dive.

Many women often feel the same way more often then we know. They have lost sight of the woman they once was or the woman that they had hoped to be some day. They stopped dreaming and gave in to just living to make it through the day. They hide behind taking care of husband, children and home. They even find themselves taking on more at work just to forget about lost time.

Women like to be respected and noticed. They want to be recognized and appreciated. When they don't receive these things they begin to hide behind their responsibilities hoping they will be recognized for a job well done. When this does not happen they slowly lose the 'woman' from the inside out.

Sometimes it is hard to find your identity once it is lost, but it is not impossible. Some women may feel that because they are of a certain age that it is too late to find the woman on the inside of them. So not true! If you start with some of the tips below you can be on your way to finding that woman.

• Search Yourself – Sometimes we don't take the time to sit and search ourselves. Find out what type of woman you are and woman that you always wanted to be.
• Find Your Passion – What are some things that excite you? Anything that gets you excited or that you feel strong passion for is worth exploring.
• Take time for you – I can't say this enough and I will say it over and over again until it sinks in. Taking time for you is a vital component to maintaining sanity in an insane world.

Take my advice and find the woman in you!

 

Getting Back to Sexy

One thing I have learned, after having children it is hard to get back to sexy. I laugh when I look back at all the time I wasted not feeling sexy. This may not be an issue for you, but I know after having three children, being married for 14 years, gaining weight and being a stay-at-home mom getting back to sexy was an added responsibility.

This responsibility became more of a burden every day. As I worked to keep my husband happy, children pleased and maintain the house, sexy was just not on the top of my list of task. I fell into a rut and the deeper I was in it the harder it was to get out. I became comfortable with my oversized clothes, jogging outfits, flats, and moo moo's. This was definitely not who I was before I got married and not what attracted my husband to me. Can you imagine the things that were going through his head as I slowly slipped into his mother?

Just let me say, I love my mother-in-law and have nothing against her style of dress, but I'm sure my husband didn't want to lie next to a replica of his mother at night. He wanted that woman that turned him on when we were dating and the woman that continued after we said "I do" – you know, before the children.

Here are some things you can do to slowly get back to sexy:

• Get rid of the moo moo's – I laugh at this because these were the very words my husband said to me as I showed him what his mom had given me. I thought they were nice, big and comfortable. This is what I looked for when lounged around the house after a long day. Oversized clothing does not necessarily mean comfort. You can find clothing that fit nicely, compliment your curves and still maintain comfort.
• Pamper Yourself – When we become wives and mothers we often put our needs or wants on the back burner. We spend our time taking care of others and neglect ourselves. Take time to get your hair done, get a manicure and pedicure. Doing these things can make you feel good and look good.

Getting back to sexy will take some time, but with time and effort you will be Back to Sexy in no time!

Out of “Esteem”

Have you ever felt that you could be better, look better, or even feel better about yourself? Have you had moments where you have felt inadequate or just less t han qualified? Have you lacked motivation or
confidence?

I am sure that the answers to some of the questions above are yes. Everyone has had these moments once, twice and more times than they care to share. I have found that this issue is more prevalent than we know. This is an issue of Esteem – Self-Esteem.

After I had my children I remember the feelings of low self-esteem. My self-esteem issues traveled through everything I did. It manifested through the way I dressed, talked and took care of myself. It was obvious to everyone that I was out of 'esteem,' but me. The truth is I just did not feel attractive and desirable anymore. Instead of trying to look sexy and attractive to my husband, I chose to put on clothing that was not becoming because they were comfortable. I no longer went to my hair appointments and took that time to get a mani or pedi.

When you're out of 'Esteem' you are out of alignment. Self-esteem affects every area of our lives from relationships to job performance. Self-esteem is vital and is the foundation of a positive attitude towards life and living. You can't build self esteem over night - it is an area that is built and nourished with time.

Take the time to build your self esteem and watch the changes that will begin to happen in your life.    

 

The Woman in You

Growing up my mother always told me to be an individual and stop trying to be like everyone else. As little girls we try to fit in so we would be noticed by others. We try to get in with the "In Crowd" to become popular. This meant that we needed to be more like that crowd – do what they did, dress like they dressed and talk like they talked. In doing these things we decreased the ability to develop who we were from the inside out.

It is so important to take the time to develop a healthy self-esteem, self-image and build confidence in you as an individual. Finding that woman on the inside is vital to inner happiness and peace. Finding the woman in you is about embracing the person that you were made to be. It is accepting your unique qualities and welcoming the difference that makes you distinctive.

Where is the woman in you? Is she crying to get out? Is she hidden behind a lifetime of disappointments and failures? Is she lost in the - should've could've would've? It's time to find that woman again and give her life. Stop waiting for things to just happen. You have to get up and make things happen. You have to start with taking your life back – building your self-esteem, transforming your self-image and boosting your self-confidence.

Here are some things you might consider:

1. Stop the pity parties – there's no time to waddle in the pool of disappointments and failures. There is nothing you can do about the past. Move on and start a new chapter in your life.
2. Look good, feel good – Start changing how you view yourself by working on your appearance. Invest in some pampering. This is always a good tool in transforming your self- image.
3. Find your passion – look inside yourself and find what makes you excited. Take that passion and increase your knowledge. When you're passionate about something you are eager to learn.

These are just a few tidbits to start with as you work to find the Woman in You!

As a Woman Thinketh

Being a woman is hard enough when dealing with how you're viewed by others. It is another thing to lower yourself to the self-destroying opinions that go on in your head. People who know me know that I love to draw my common sense thinking from the Bible. Its principles can be applied to the life of anyone – Christian or non-Christian. In the Bible it states:

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he;" Proverbs 23:7a

This already tells us that our words and thoughts have power. How you think is how you live and act. If you think of yourself as unattractive – so it is. If you think of yourself as undesirable – so it is. If you think of yourself as inadequate – so it is.

I was a victim of this very thing for several years before and after I got married and had children. My self-esteem and self-image was in a very bad place. My thought life was destroying my physical life. I was depressed and stressed. I had lost sight of the woman in me. My hurt from prior relationships and weight gain from each pregnancy left me feeling less than a woman. This affected my husband, children, family and friends. I no longer dressed nice, did my hair or got my nails done. I was in a bad place!

If you're engaging in self-destroying thoughts that are now manifesting in how you live and act – It's Time to Stop! Put an end to those self-destroying thoughts and Find the Woman in You.