The Total Makeover

Living on Purpose with a Purpose

Knowing your destiny or having a plan for your life is very important. The bible says in Proverbs 29:18: "without a vision the people perish." This statement is so profound because it is true in every area of life. If you don't have a vision for your life you have no goals. This means that you aspire to do nothing. A person that has no aspirations is living life without a purpose. As I go through this time in my life I understand the importance of having a purpose, a plan, a vision. I know what I was designed for. I know God's destiny for me and how it's time to live on purpose with a purpose.

Are you living on purpose with a purpose? What this means is living life intentionally with a reason, motive, drive or inspiration. What is your reason for living? What is the source of your motivation? What drives you? What is your inspiration? My destiny in God is the source of my motivation. It is the force that drives me to get up in the morning and to live my life. I live to see His plan for my life unfold. When I rise in the morning the first thing I want to know is what He has in store for me that day. I'm living on purpose with a purpose.

Destiny Speaks

What makes the woman in you leap, jump and scream with excitement? What are your passions, dreams or witty ideas? Take a moment and think about each question carefully because each answer is significant to your destiny.

    Recently I was in a state of confusion about what it is I am truly called to do. I thought maybe it was in my education that I would find my passion. I returned to school and with God's help maintained a 3.78 GPA. I thought, wow, this is it – I have found my way. Even though I was excelling I was not feeling the fulfillment of my success. The pieces were not connecting.

    All of my life I have done things that I thought would please others. I knew returning to school would make some family members happy so I think that is what kind of fueled my thinking. I had a half hearted desire to finish, but I also hate not finishing things. So my quest to get my educations was going to be completed no matter what my feelings were.

    In my quest to find my true passion, destiny and life fulfillment the Lord began to shake my world. He began to strip away things that were not in his true plan and put me in position to walk in my true destiny. When I say he shook my world……..He told me point blank to stop doing some things I had in place. This was upsetting to me, but I had been praying and asking for direction. I wanted to walk in true destiny.

    Not too long after he began to remove some things and he brought back to me things that once ignited a passion on the inside of me. Those dreams that I once had that made me excited with anticipation. It was at that moment Destiny Spoke! My future was clear and I had a new excitement about my life. The pieces began to line up and I began to hear the voice of God clearly as he mapped out my future.

    When destiny speaks it is loud and clear. When destiny speaks it ignites a passion and excitement on the inside. When destiny speaks the woman on the inside of you will leap, jump and scream with anticipation. "RING," it's destiny calling!

Words from the Heart – 5/7/12

I've tried in my blog post not to push my religious view, but I'm finding it very difficult. God has called me to activate and build women and I can't effectively do this without sharing what He has placed on my heart they way He put it there.

    As you may have noticed I have changed my tagline to include the word "Godly." I believe that every woman has a godly side, even if you're not sure what that is. My main objective is to activate and build you to live life to its fullest, to benefit from all that God has designed for you.

    He has a destiny and purpose for everyone. It says in Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV):

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This destiny was planned and established before you were even placed in your mother's womb. Yes, there is a plan for your life – a destiny. My job as a coach is to help you define that destiny and move towards it. I do this by activating those gifts on the inside of you and building by encouraging to push past difficult situations – activating and building that woman in you.

    It's time to fulfill destiny! The time is now, the hour is now. Walk with me as I activate and build that woman that God has called you to be!

Life on Overload

Okay ladies, I know when you read the title of this post there were many things flowing through your mind. I can hear some of you say….my life is always on overload! Yes, I know and believe me I understand. My life has been on overload since the day I said I do.

    Recently I had a mini meltdown. As you know I am the mini version of superwoman. I have a husband, three children – I homeschool my children and run a business from home and I also attend school. I woke up one morning last week for my 5am prayer time and had the worst sore throat. My legs were weak as I rose from bed and my body felt like a giant headache.

    As I started to begin my prayer I thought, "Lord please let this pass!" It was clear by the end of my prayer time that I was in for a battle. As the day went on I began to feel worse. My children were catching it during our homeschool time because I was not in the mood for nonsense. By the end of the day I knew the flu was here to stay.

    Now, I want you to understand that I have a good husband and I thank God for him every day, but sometimes even your blessings can seem like curses when you are afflicted. The next day when I rose for prayer it took every ounce of strength in my body. I wanted to stay in the bed, but I knew that I had made a commitment to the Lord and I wanted to keep my promise. Later that day, everything started running in on me. The children were less than co-operative and I woke up to my kitchen not being clean. Nothing had been done the night before from the other four people living in my house. I had to clean, teach and cook. This went on for the next two days until I had a meltdown.

    I just couldn't take it anymore. Where was my relief? What did I have to do to get some help around here? For an instance I didn't know what to do…..then it came to me, nothing. Yes, I just dropped everything and did nothing. I took some medication, climbed into bed and did nothing. For the first time I allowed myself to do absolutely nothing and it felt good. I didn't feel guilty!

Every once in awhile, ladies, it is okay to just do nothing - relax, take care of you and regroup.

The Storms of Life

    As I think about the recent events that have occurred in our world today the one scripture keeps coming to mind:

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:26 (NIV)

It is a sad thing when you covet what the world has and get caught up in what the world has to offer. The truth is that death has no age limit, as we see with the passing of Whitney Houston.

    I grew up listening to Whitney and have always loved her music, but my heart was sadden when I heard that she had passed away at the age of 48. Forty-eight! Really! That is young in my book. She let the storms of life dictate her actions. This is a very scary thing because life can throw many curve balls and if we are not careful we will just sit and take the hits.

    All those that know me know that I grew up in a strict Christian home and I was taught the difference between right and wrong. However, I did not always adhere to the teachings my parents gave me. I went off to do my own things and got caught up in the storms of life. Certain events took place in my life that I am not proud of, but it led me to get involved in other things that I am so not proud of doing. It took some time for me to realize that I was letting circumstances dictate my actions.

    I have said all that to say this……as women (being the emotional beings that we are) we allow our emotions to dictate our actions good or bad. We kind of go with the flow of the atmosphere. Today, I want you to take a stand and decide that no matter what is going on in your life, no matter what the enemy tries to throw at you, you will take a stand and decide to live your life without sacrificing your soul.    

Before the Children Came

Before the children came I was a vibrant, energetic and sexy woman. After the children arrived I was less vibrant, a little less energetic and so far removed from sexy! As I stated in one of my previous blogs post "Getting Back to Sexy" it is easy to lose sight of the woman inside after having children.

Let me just say that I love my children dearly and could not imagine my life without them. They bring a joy to my life that I cannot put into words. So, when I say my life was different before they arrived does not mean that I wish my life without them.

My life was carefree and I did what I wanted whenever I wanted to before the children came. Even after marrying my husband – with no children- we did things like, get up early and go to breakfast. We didn't have to get anyone else ready but ourselves.

After having children my energy left and I didn't have the big smile my husband so loved when he arrived home from work. All I could muster up was a "hey" as he walked through the door. Still in my lounging clothes and hair tied up. Who has time to dress, do hair and put on make-up when you have three children 13, 9 & 4 that are home all day because you homeschool! I understand how easy it is to get lost in a daily routine. Below are some things that might help you organize your day and put some pep in your step.

Set time limits – This is something that I had to learn the hard way. I am an overachiever and it is easy to get caught up in what I am doing and overdo it. Set a time limit for each thing that you are doing. After the time is up – leave it alone until the next day.

Get plenty of rest – I know for mothers and wives this is sometimes easier said than done, but it can be done. I have recently made the commitment to get as much rest as possible. I arrange my day so that towards the end of the day my children and I have whine down time. This helps us come down and get our bodies ready for a good night sleep. Once the children are in bed, I spend some time with hubby and then it is off to bed for the night.

Take time for you – I can't stress this enough! I know I say it a lot, but it is so important. I find that when I take time away from my busy family to do things for myself I come back calm, relaxed and ready to conquer whatever is waiting for me at home.

Incorporate the help of children and husband – this is something I learned the hard way. I always thought that being a good wife meant that I had to be able to juggle everything. I started getting my children involved with the cooking and cleaning of the house. They were so eager to help and it took a load off of me. It also started teaching them responsibility.

Hope these tips helps activate and build the woman in you!

Identity Lost

When was the first time you realized that people didn't notice you anymore? When the people that you are around frequently only reply to you as your children's mom or your husband's wife? I will never forget when this first started happening to me. Frankly, this truly bothered me.

I was never the one that was extremely popular growing up and I was always known as my brother's sister to all those that never took the time to get to know who I was. Now, my identity was again in question. It was at this moment that I realized that I had lost sight of me – the woman. I had begun to hide behind my responsibilities and used them as an excuse to not take time for myself. I had not realized that my self-esteem had taken a nose dive.

Many women often feel the same way more often then we know. They have lost sight of the woman they once was or the woman that they had hoped to be some day. They stopped dreaming and gave in to just living to make it through the day. They hide behind taking care of husband, children and home. They even find themselves taking on more at work just to forget about lost time.

Women like to be respected and noticed. They want to be recognized and appreciated. When they don't receive these things they begin to hide behind their responsibilities hoping they will be recognized for a job well done. When this does not happen they slowly lose the 'woman' from the inside out.

Sometimes it is hard to find your identity once it is lost, but it is not impossible. Some women may feel that because they are of a certain age that it is too late to find the woman on the inside of them. So not true! If you start with some of the tips below you can be on your way to finding that woman.

• Search Yourself – Sometimes we don't take the time to sit and search ourselves. Find out what type of woman you are and woman that you always wanted to be.
• Find Your Passion – What are some things that excite you? Anything that gets you excited or that you feel strong passion for is worth exploring.
• Take time for you – I can't say this enough and I will say it over and over again until it sinks in. Taking time for you is a vital component to maintaining sanity in an insane world.

Take my advice and find the woman in you!

 

Getting Back to Sexy

One thing I have learned, after having children it is hard to get back to sexy. I laugh when I look back at all the time I wasted not feeling sexy. This may not be an issue for you, but I know after having three children, being married for 14 years, gaining weight and being a stay-at-home mom getting back to sexy was an added responsibility.

This responsibility became more of a burden every day. As I worked to keep my husband happy, children pleased and maintain the house, sexy was just not on the top of my list of task. I fell into a rut and the deeper I was in it the harder it was to get out. I became comfortable with my oversized clothes, jogging outfits, flats, and moo moo's. This was definitely not who I was before I got married and not what attracted my husband to me. Can you imagine the things that were going through his head as I slowly slipped into his mother?

Just let me say, I love my mother-in-law and have nothing against her style of dress, but I'm sure my husband didn't want to lie next to a replica of his mother at night. He wanted that woman that turned him on when we were dating and the woman that continued after we said "I do" – you know, before the children.

Here are some things you can do to slowly get back to sexy:

• Get rid of the moo moo's – I laugh at this because these were the very words my husband said to me as I showed him what his mom had given me. I thought they were nice, big and comfortable. This is what I looked for when lounged around the house after a long day. Oversized clothing does not necessarily mean comfort. You can find clothing that fit nicely, compliment your curves and still maintain comfort.
• Pamper Yourself – When we become wives and mothers we often put our needs or wants on the back burner. We spend our time taking care of others and neglect ourselves. Take time to get your hair done, get a manicure and pedicure. Doing these things can make you feel good and look good.

Getting back to sexy will take some time, but with time and effort you will be Back to Sexy in no time!

Out of “Esteem”

Have you ever felt that you could be better, look better, or even feel better about yourself? Have you had moments where you have felt inadequate or just less t han qualified? Have you lacked motivation or
confidence?

I am sure that the answers to some of the questions above are yes. Everyone has had these moments once, twice and more times than they care to share. I have found that this issue is more prevalent than we know. This is an issue of Esteem – Self-Esteem.

After I had my children I remember the feelings of low self-esteem. My self-esteem issues traveled through everything I did. It manifested through the way I dressed, talked and took care of myself. It was obvious to everyone that I was out of 'esteem,' but me. The truth is I just did not feel attractive and desirable anymore. Instead of trying to look sexy and attractive to my husband, I chose to put on clothing that was not becoming because they were comfortable. I no longer went to my hair appointments and took that time to get a mani or pedi.

When you're out of 'Esteem' you are out of alignment. Self-esteem affects every area of our lives from relationships to job performance. Self-esteem is vital and is the foundation of a positive attitude towards life and living. You can't build self esteem over night - it is an area that is built and nourished with time.

Take the time to build your self esteem and watch the changes that will begin to happen in your life.    

 

The Woman in You

Growing up my mother always told me to be an individual and stop trying to be like everyone else. As little girls we try to fit in so we would be noticed by others. We try to get in with the "In Crowd" to become popular. This meant that we needed to be more like that crowd – do what they did, dress like they dressed and talk like they talked. In doing these things we decreased the ability to develop who we were from the inside out.

It is so important to take the time to develop a healthy self-esteem, self-image and build confidence in you as an individual. Finding that woman on the inside is vital to inner happiness and peace. Finding the woman in you is about embracing the person that you were made to be. It is accepting your unique qualities and welcoming the difference that makes you distinctive.

Where is the woman in you? Is she crying to get out? Is she hidden behind a lifetime of disappointments and failures? Is she lost in the - should've could've would've? It's time to find that woman again and give her life. Stop waiting for things to just happen. You have to get up and make things happen. You have to start with taking your life back – building your self-esteem, transforming your self-image and boosting your self-confidence.

Here are some things you might consider:

1. Stop the pity parties – there's no time to waddle in the pool of disappointments and failures. There is nothing you can do about the past. Move on and start a new chapter in your life.
2. Look good, feel good – Start changing how you view yourself by working on your appearance. Invest in some pampering. This is always a good tool in transforming your self- image.
3. Find your passion – look inside yourself and find what makes you excited. Take that passion and increase your knowledge. When you're passionate about something you are eager to learn.

These are just a few tidbits to start with as you work to find the Woman in You!